Introduction to an Aspiring Engineer
Hi! I am John Sholeen. I am a Junior studying petroleum engineering here at OU. I chose petroleum engineering because I wanted to work offshore. This summer I will be working as a drilling intern in the Gulf of Mexico. Although my classes were engaging last semester, I was more interested in the machine learning research I was doing. Last semester I attempted to create and train a convolution neural network to accurately segment images. I was moderately successful in my attempt. The network I trained was able to accurately segment images from the training set, but it struggled when presented with new images. Overall it was a good first step, and I am excited to continue this semester. Over the break I watched the first season of Counterpart , a Starz show starring J. K. Simmons. The dark atmosphere of the show engrossed me in the story and I couldn't stop watching. The way the plot developed was unexpected and interesting. The choices the characters made felt real
Hi John!
ReplyDeleteI always knew that there were stories that were associated around floodings that happened in the past, and actually learned about some of the mythology from the Mesopotamia Civilization. However, I have never heard of any Indian mythology involving floods, so I am interested in its influence and importance on the Indian culture.
In terms of organization of your introduction, I think that the last paragraph would actually be best right before you conclude what your two themes are. That way, the reader knows exactly what you mean when you say you want to differentiate and expose the contrast between salvation and destruction.
Also, in the very last sentence, it says "flooding can till have", but did you meant to put "flooding can still have"? That was the only spelling error that I found, but be sure to always proofread just in case! Anyway, best of luck on your storybook this semester!
Hello John,
ReplyDeleteI am genuinely really interested to read the stories you make based off of what I read in your introduction. I am a geography minor and am very fascinated by how flooding as shaped land areas, the people living there, and those people’s cultures. I thought it was really helpful having that first main paragraph introducing the topic because a lot of people don’t consider this topic when thinking of how why cultures are shaped the way they are. I also liked how you then talked briefly about each story and how it contributes to the overall theme of the storybook. One thing I was curious about was the Kerala story, there is not mush said about it. Maybe including another sentence or two about where this flood is and why it is still a problem could help prepare the reader for the story.
Hey John.
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading your introduction. I have to say your topic for your storybook is really unique and I think it is a great area to explore within the Indian myths. I never realized that flooding was prevalent among the Indian myths and now I am interested in learning more especially throughout the great stories you will be putting up. The pictures you put on your introduction are phenomenal. It is interesting to see how flooding impacts various areas within India and how people have perceived floods in the past. With that being said I enjoyed how you gave us a little background to flooding within the Indian myths. Readers such as myself may be unfamiliar with the topic and by incorporating some background information you have made it to where it is more familiar for the reader to understand. The biggest thing I would recommend is changing "introcuction" to "introduction."
Hello John! First thing I noticed wrong is you spelled “introcuction” and I feel like you meant “introduction” but fix me if I am wrong and you did it on purpose! I am very interested on how you want to tackle the flood mythology in India. I never noticed or realized how floods can have an effect on civilization. I do not think people realize how floods can actually affect culture. I enjoyed your introduction because it showed what type of stories you are going to contribute and what you want to compare. Looking at your pictures and the last paragraph, there is not much information about Kerala before and after the flooding, so maybe provide more information or history about that! But so far, I really like your topic. It is very different from the other topics I have seen! Good luck on your storybook and excited to read more about it!
ReplyDeleteHi John!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the first chapter in your storybook! This is my first time reading about the floods and the stories that come along with it. I like how Matsya and Many develop a deep relationship, and Matsya actually returns to warn Many of the natural disaster that is about to come. I had one question, though. In your author's note, you said that Matsya was not initially associated with Vishnu, so was the correlation between them your idea or was their relation developed later? I am just curious as to how and why their association came about.
Also, in the first sentence of the last paragraph, you wrote "One Matsya reaches the ocean...", but did you mean to put "once" instead of "one"? Other than that, I am excited to continue reading your storybook! This story is of salvation, but I am looking forward to reading a story about destruction and to seeing how different the resolution is from the resolution of salvation.
Hi John, I enjoyed reading your story, Matsya the Fish. I particularly enjoyed how Matsya continued to grow and never stop growing. The ironic thing about this whole is story is that maybe if Manu had not saved Matsya from getting eaten that one day, this whole flood would have never even had happened. Maybe is was destiny for Matsya to get eaten. The big fish was trying to prevent the flood that would happen for the big fish knew Matsya would never stop growing. How come Matsya took the form of Vishnu after the flood? Couldn't Matsya have taken the form of Vishnu before he caused the flood? These are all just small critiques and questions I had about the story. Overall I enjoyed reading your story very much. It flowed well and was easy and enjoyable to read through out. I think the one thing you are missing is just some dialogue. You could use this as a writing challenge for your future weekend projects. It doesn't have to a lot. Just a few exchange of words between characters would bring the story more to life.
ReplyDeleteHi John!
ReplyDeleteI was so excited to read your story because I actually wrote one of my stories on this tale as well! I wonder what initially drew you to the topic of flood stories. My topic is a little more broad, it is about animals in Indian mythology in general. So one of the stories that came up was about Manu. I was so excited to read your version of the story because it was told in the point of view of the fish which I think it set best point of view of all the characters. What made you decide to do it from his point of view instead of from Manu's? You also give such in depth detail throughout your entire story and I appreciate that aspect of your writing so much! It really made me feel like I was right there in the middle of the story. Anyway, great job!! Hope to see more of your writing in the future.
Hey John! This is a very intriguing and unique topic to focus on, and I am excited to see how the rest of your stories unfold! Your introduction is very clear and provides a wonderful foundation for understanding the theme of the storybook. I like how you included a modern example of flooding, connecting the stories of the past and the values that have been passed down along with them to modern-day circumstances. Although the deaths that resulted are certainly a tragedy, understanding the floods as cleansing and rejuvenating in the context of the epics helps to provide an alternate way of comprehending the tragedy. Be careful in your final paragraph about switching between past and present tenses; the writing will read much more smoothly if you stick to one. There are a few editing errors in the final sentences, so you may want to revisit these to clarify correct sentence breaks.
ReplyDeleteHi John,
ReplyDeleteI think the topic you picked was a very interesting and creative one! Not very many people would have chosen a topic like yours so I think it is a really unique story book to read. I like that right from the introduction you explained the importance of rivers and flooding in Indian culture. I also like the picture you picked to let readers visually see the rivers. WOW your first story was amazing. It reminded me of Noah's Ark when I first read it because of some similarities. I really like that your story was very captivating to read yet easy to read. Like, the flow was easy to follow along and it was just a great story to read. I like the background information you provide in the Author's Note and how your story and the story you got inspiration from came to be. Overall, it was a great story and I cannot wait to read more of what you write.
Hey John,
ReplyDeleteYou picked awesome banner images for your home page, introduction, and story. They really capture your flood theme very well. Great choices!
I like the picture you painted at the beginning of Matsya the Fish. Your word choice and sentence structure were really good at creating imagery. Then the peaceful atmosphere was turned on its head with the cry for help. This was an effective transition. I had never heard this story so this was a fun read for me. It is crazy that Matsya became so huge that the whole world flooded. It kind of reminds me of Noah's Ark.
I think you also have a lot of ways you could expand this story if you chose to. I am a bit curious on what Manu and his company did on the boat while the flood occurred. How long did the flood last? Then again, adding in these details might distract from the plot.
Hey John,
ReplyDeleteI was interested in your storybook by your title of Flood Stories. I immediately thought of the Great Flood, and I was curious to see what flood stories you had found. To begin, I think the images you chose for your storybook are reflective of what you write about on each page. I did notice though that on your Introduction, the order of your flood images seem to be swapped. Your caption labels the pictures as before and after, where it looked to me like the flooded image came first on the left side. So I think if you could rearrange those images, that would clarify your meaning. The story you wrote had a nice tale of the fish being saved, and then the fish saving the man. It was interesting to see that the fish just never stopped getting bigger. I wonder why he just kept getting bigger. A suggestion I have for editing is reviewing the last few sentences of your first story. I think you stopped a sentence midway, and then began a new sentence in the middle of the original sentence.
Hey John, I really liked your story about the fish. That was a cool new perspective on the Noah's Ark story from Christianity that we're all used to hearing. I find it interesting that so many cultures all have stories about floods in their mythology. I've always wondered if it's because there was one big flood that killed everyone at some point in time, or perhaps the flood represents something deeper locked away in what Freud might have called our "collective unconscious." If rain comes from the Gods to bless us with harvest, then a deluge must also be from God. I'm sure that it's probably just because civilizations are typically built near rivers because they are dependent on livestock and crops, and rivers tend to flood occasionally. Anyways, I thought the fish story was very cool, one thing though is that you should have explained what a Yagna is. I can sort of interpret through context clues, but it just would have been helpful. Anyways, good story overall. Until next time, I'm NitroDubbz.
ReplyDeleteHi John great story! I really enjoyed your take on the flood story. What I really liked was how the fish became so big that it was bigger than the ocean! The absurdity is one of my favorite parts of these stories! I think you could maybe add some more descriptive words on the size of the fish. Maybe even adding how the man is able to transfer a fish that is getting that big. It would be a pretty hard task to move a fish the size of a pond without killing it. What made you consider this kind of story? Was it one of your favorites that we have read so far? One thing I noticed was in your authors notes you used the wrong form of week. It should be weak I believe. I am not super great with grammar or spelling but I think you meant the physical weak and not the calendar week!
ReplyDeleteHey John!
ReplyDeleteI love your choice of topic. I strongly considered making a water/water animal themed storybook. Something about masses of water is so intriguing. I also like your essay-style introduction. It gives the reader a sense of the role of flood stories in Indian cultures. Your choice to include the pre- and post-flood photos is also very good, although it would be cool to see some historical drawings or a large-scale map too.
I like how in your story about Matsya the fish, you make a sort of snarky comment ("it really begs the question of where he was getting all the food") to sort of point out the absurdity of the story. Is that coming from the narrator's perspective? Or Manu's? Who is the narrator?
Great work!
hi John! I just read your story "Matsya the Fish". I really enjoyed the intro of the story, and how you developed the background of where Manu was standing. I thought your story flowed well, also. It was interesting how Matsya outgrew all of his surroundings. I was afraid Manu would wake up to his wife cooking Matsya the day after he brought him home! Funny how our brains try to guess what will happen next. At the end of the story there are a few sentence that seem to end and then begin again a little awkwardly, but perhaps that is done on purpose? This sentence for example: "It took time for the water to recede, but once the sea reached its normal level." Well, I really enjoyed reading your story! I look forward to reading more of your stories!!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting story, John! It reminds me of Noah's ark in the Bible. An impending world-class flood is coming and only a select family knows about it because of their relationship with a higher being. The higher being then warns them to make a boat to save themselves, and eventually that boat ends up on a mountain at the end of the flood. To be honest, I thought the story would take a darker turn, for example, Manu killing the fish to save humanity. I'm interested to see what other flood stories you will write!
ReplyDeleteOne little note regarding your Author's Note - when you say "This is a portrayal of a week being.." week should be "weak."
Hi John!
ReplyDeleteIts crazy how many civilizations across the world have a story about a great flood: The Torah/The Old Testament, many Indigenous Civilizations, and many others I can't think off the top of my head. You could include these in your authors notes. They would be a change from the normal author notes.
I like how you keep your narrator unknown. It makes me trust the narrator more and their retelling of facts.
There is so much you can with stories of floods. I can't wait to see what you do.
Hi John!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your second story! I have seen the Ganga come up in many Indian Epics, so I could sense its importance in Indian culture and history. Although, I have not read that many stories (besides the Mahabharata) involving Ganga as a character. On a side note, I cannot believe that Sagara has sixty sons! I definitely made quite the humorous face when I read that part of the story. It makes me wonder how many wives he had.
I do have a question though. How did Shiva get Ganga to come to the Earth? I think if you clarify this, it will really add to the progression of the story.
Other than that, and a few spelling errors, I really enjoyed your story and cannot wait to read more.
John, your stories seem really cool and I can't wait to read through all of them. Reading through your first story I thought it was really cool how you established the setting of the story right away. The setting really seems cool. It gives it a sort of a 'end of the world' vibes. It reminds me of the movie "The Day After Tomorrow." It is almost as if the world might end tomorrow. I can't wait to read your other stories and see how you progress through your flood stories. Keep up the good work and I'll be reading your other stories soon!
ReplyDeleteHi John!
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea you chose for your storybook! Most civilizations have a lot of mythology surrounding water because their survival was so dependent on it, and I think it’s really cool that you decided to explore all of the Indian mythology surrounding floods. The stories you have written so far are clear and easy to follow, but it would be nice if they were a little more descriptive. I think if you added in some imagery and some more dialogue it would make the stories seem a little bit more your own, instead of seeming like you are telling someone else’s story. For example, in the second story “Ganga”, you could add in some dialogue between Kupila and Anshuman. It would make the story feel more dynamic and engaging. I really enjoyed what you have written so far and I look forward to reading whatever you write next!
Hey John!
ReplyDeleteYour project is coming along well! The theme and colors are all very fitting with your story. Your author's note did a good job explaining your inspiration and the goal of your project. I think the part where you explain why you chose to do this specific topic was great because it made me think about how important water is. I also thought about stories in my culture that relate to water mythology. I think you have done a great job with your story book! I can not wait to read more of your work.
WWW Comment:
ReplyDeleteHey John,
I like the format of your storybook, especially the images that you used on your website. I think it really fits with the theme of your storybook. I know in India that rivers are seen to be very sacred. After the cremation of bodies in India, families will disperse the ashes of their family members in holy waters. Also, during special pujas and events, idols will be submerged in rivers as well. In class, we learned a lot about the Ganges in class and it’s prevalence in the Indian epics. I like how you dedicated a story to the Ganges as we get a brief overview about it in class. Also, I like how in your introduction that you referenced you stories back to modern day India as flooding is a huge problem. I think that using ancient stories and relating them back to the modern context is brilliant. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook.
Hi John,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting concept for a storybook! The stage is set very well by your note in the introduction on the difference between modern and ancient catastrophes, and the way old cataclysms become metaphors while similar modern events become – rightfully – tragedies.
It’s very interesting the parallelisms between the story of Matsya and that of Noah and the Ark, although I’m sure everyone has already pointed that out. While I doubt that there was any explanation in the source text you use, one wonders “why” – if that can even be applied to a god – Vishnu chose to take a form that would cause an event he later felt so badly about and worked so hard to reverse. Or maybe that’s the whole point, the cycle. I’m not sure, but it’s a question that came to me in reading your story.
It was also fun for me to see Vasuki, king of the snakes, show up in passing here – I wrote about him two weeks ago and hadn’t been able to find much of any reference to him.
Best,
A.M.
Hey John,
ReplyDeleteI like the layout and design of your website. It makes a big statement with the full page image that focuses the reader on the story at hand. I didn't say this before, but I'm impressed by the theme of this storybook. All the stories revolve around flooding! I could never be creative enough to produce stories that all revolve around such a seemingly restricted topic!
The story of the Ganges was very interesting. Shiva's hair was India's first irrigation system, huh? It seems like the Ganges was to India as the Nile was to Egypt. Crucial in starting civilization and supporting life. Also, what's up with Indra taking the horse and putting it at Kapila's ashram? Was he trying to just wipe out Sagara's bloodline or something? I guess that WOULD be an effective way to stop someone from taking over the world.
"He fell to his knees and looked up at Kapila. He begged him for forgiveness. Kupila told him..."
On this part, I think you misspelled Kupila. Or Kapila.